Muslimah food for thought

Having gheerah is not enough

2010-10-23T19:24:00.006+03:00

I've wanted to do a post on this topic for quite a while but kept putting it off. Something happened today that made me want to write about it right away- A question posed to me by a non muslim friend- “Do the rules in Islam apply only to women? Why is it that Muslim men do stuff they wouldn't let their women do? “ Many of you have probably been asked this question numerous times, and of course there are several things that need to be covered when respondidng to such a question, but I thought I would cover one just one cause for people to think such things about islam.

While it's wrong to generalise and put all muslim men in that category, it's true that most have double standards ; they have plenty of female friends, go out with them, spend hours chatting /talking to them but would never let their womenfolk be involved in such activities.

I know that there are plenty of brothers today Masha’Allah who try their best to abide by the qur'an and the sunnah but it's a fact that it's mostly men who have this attitude. Society is probably to blame for that. I'm not saying women don't do the same thing; many do, but somehow in most societies a man behaving in such a matter is considered to be ‘normal’ and therefore acceptable. This makes even the religious brothers think thay can do what they want because they know they can get away with it and find the ‘perfect’ woman.

It's not that we don't appreciate the fact that our men are protective. . After all, "The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…" (Surah An-Nisaa, Ayah 34) In fact we should be proud to have such men in our lives, given that today most have lost their sense of gheerah - a very important concept in Islam. Gheerah is an Arabic word which means 'jealousy' or 'protectiveness' in a good way, but while there are matters in which men and women are treated differently in Islamic sharee’ah, certain rules apply to both, whether regarding modesty or behavior.

The Quran says (interpretation of the meaning):

"Say to the believing man that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that will make for greater purity for them; and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; and that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands..." (Qur'an 24:30-31)

For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah’s praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward. (33:35)

And for women are rights over men similar to those of men over women. (2:226)

Some think they can change themselves once they are married; I really don't know how that is supposed to work. If you can't keep away now from this fitna now, likelihood is that you'll miss it even later on and it can affect your marriage. Moreover, it's just wrong to want a perfect spouse when you're not even trying to change. Wouldn't a righteous man/woman also want someone who is religiously-committed? Sinning and then repenting is a different story, but continuing to do something when you know it's wrong and then expecting your wife to not do what's not allowed for you either is unacceptable. This does not mean a woman can choose to rebel against him and say she can do whatever he does.

Others keep telling themselves they have 'time to change' but what if you're not going to wake up tomorrow? What if you never get that chance to change? What excuse are you going to give when you're questioned about it? Most will read this and find a way to justify what they do.

There comes a point where you must start being true to yourself. Most of those who are involved in such acts do know that they are wrong. It’s sad that most of them are sisters and brother who have a good knowledge of what Islam expects of us and how we are expected to behave. There's no excuse for playing around when you're in your teens, but once you start actively looking for a spouse it's time we become what we want our spouse to be.

This is a reminder to myself first. With so much fitna around it's never easy staying on the right path, but as muslims we also need to always be conscious of how we represent our religion. We must change. We need to stop worrying about how people will react when they start noticing these changes and remember that pleasing Allah should be our priority. It will take time, but with the power of dua and some self-restraint it won’t be too difficult.

The Stranger

2010-08-24T23:37:00.005+03:00

Do you ever feel like you no longer 'fit in' with the rest of the crowd? You start feeling left out because you're different? People start thinking you're weird and you even start losing friends. Whether you're a revert or a muslim who has just started wearing hijab/niqab or changing for the sake of Allah, you've probably felt this way at some point. Although I know that sisters feel this way this way particularly if they live in non-muslim countries, my life in KSA has taught me that you could feel like a stranger even when you are among avlarge number of muslims. So why is it that whe feel this way?

“Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the strangers.” (Muslim, 145)

To understand the meaning of this hadith, listen to this short lecture by Sh. Khalid Yasin; one of the best lectures I've listened to.

A full explanation of what this hadith means can be found here, however here are a few excerpts:

The meaning of this hadeeth is that Islam began as something strange, when the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called people to Islam, but no one responded except a few here and there. At that time it was something strange because its people were like strangers amongst others and they were few in number and weak, in contrast to the great numbers and strength of their enemies who persecuted the Muslims. Then some of them migrated to Abyssinia, fleeing for the sake of their religion from tribulation and to save themselves from persecution and oppression, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) migrated at Allaah’s command to Madeenah, after suffering intense persecution and in the hope that Allaah would give him people to support him in his call and support Islam. Allaah fulfilled his hopes, granted victory to his troops and supported His slave. The Islamic state was established and Islam spread, with the help of Allaah, throughout the land; Allaah made the word of kufr lowest and the word of Allaah is (always) uppermost, for Allaah is Almighty, All-Wise, and honour, power and glory belong to Allaah, and to His Messenger, and to the believers [cf al-Munaafiqoon 63:8].

This continued for a long time, then division and dissent spread among the Muslims and weakness and failure increased gradually, until Islam once again became something strange as it was in the beginning. But this is not because of their small numbers, because at that time they will be many, rather it is because they do not adhere to their religion or cling to the Book of their Lord and the teachings of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), apart from those whom Allaah wills. So they become distracted and turn to competing in worldly matters, like those who came before them, and they fight amongst themselves for leadership. So the enemies of Islam found a way in and they colonized their lands, humiliated their people and treated them badly. This is the way in which Islam returned to being strange as it was in the beginning.

A number of scholars – including Shaykh Muhammad Rasheed Rida – thought that this hadeeth gives glad tidings of a second victory of Islam after it becomes something strange again. They base this on the metaphor used by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he said, “… will revert to being strange as it began.” So just as following the initial strangeness and alienation the Muslims were victorious and Islam spread, this will happen again after the second period of strangeness and alienation.

This view is more likely to be correct, and is supported by what is proven in the ahaadeeth about the Mahdi and the descent of ‘Eesa (peace be upon him) at the end of time, when Islam will spread and the Muslims will be victorious, and kufr and the kaafirs will be defeated.

I like what Sh. Yasin says at the end "...because strangers belong with strangers", something those of us who are unmarried must keep in mind when looking for a spouse.

"O muslim brothers and sisters, you and I, we should want to be strangers...But you should not ask for the reward of strangers, if you are not acting like the strangers"

وَالَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا فِينَا لَنَهْدِيَنَّهُمْ سُبُلَنَا وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَمَعَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

“As for those who strive hard in our cause, we will surely guide them to our paths (i.e. the straight path). And verily, Allah is with the Muhsinoon (good doers)." (Al-‘Ankaboot, 29: 69)

A typical day in Ramadan

2010-08-15T22:10:00.004+03:00

Lecture by Bro. Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari

You can download and listen to his other lectures here. Wishing everyone a blessed Ramadan!

Video: A good reminder

2010-04-10T00:17:00.006+03:00

This is an extract from a lecture by Sheikh Muhammad Mukhtar Ash-Shinqitee, Al Hayaat At-Tayyibah" ("The Goodly Life")

A mother's advice to her daughter on the eve of her wedding

2010-02-12T20:42:00.005+03:00

I am reading Dr. Muhammad Ali al-Hashimis' 'The ideal Muslimah' for the second time and came across these beautiful words of wisdom again. Thought it was worth sharing.

One of the most famous and most beautiful of these texts was recorded by `Abd al-Malik ibn`Umayr al-Qurashi, who was one of the outstanding scholars of the second century AH. He quotes the words of advice given by Umamah bint al-Harith, one of the most eloquent and learned women, who was possessed of wisdom and great maturity, to her daughter on the eve of her marriage. These beautiful words deserve to be inscribed in golden ink.

`Abd al-Malik said: "When `Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn `Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother Umamah came in to her, to advise her, and said:

`O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you possess these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

`O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father's wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband,but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

`O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

`Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

`The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one's husband pleases Allah.

`The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

`The fifth and the sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

`The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and takingcare of his children and servants shows good management.

`The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

`Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgement, whilst the latter will make him unhappy.

`Show him as much honour and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.

`Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah (SWT) choose what is best for you and protect you.'"

She was taken to her husband, and the marriage was a great success; she gave birth to kings who ruled after him.

You can download the book here.

Activism for change

2010-01-31T05:37:00.004+03:00

This lecture by Sh. Yassir Fazaga is definitely worth watching.

He gives examples of the Prophets and how they dealt with 'spiritual awakening' as well as 'social reform' of the community.

Key Points:

When we see ills around us, it's not for us to curse, but to address as much as we can.
As muslims, we have a moral obligation to make a difference.
Prioritise. Know what to deal with first.Some things can wait. Address the most important issues first.
Engage in campaigns, whether it is about drugs, domestic violence or child abuse.Use the teachings of the Prophet to raise awareness
'If what you believe in does not impact how you behave, then what you believe in is not important'
There are sevral issues within our own communities that we need to address. We can do this by putting our masjids to good use.

FOR GAZA

2009-12-26T16:52:00.005+03:00

Tomorrow,the 27th of December, marks a year since Israel began its assault on the Gaza Strip killing around 1400 . Several protests , campaigns and other events have been oraginsed for Sunday. As Israel continues to violate international, we can either choose to stand back and watch or or do something about it, even in the smallest possible way.

Nadine Moawad and a few others have taken the initiative to raise awareness about gaza by a few simple, yet powerful ways.

The idea is simple. At every moment, there is a topic “trending” on twitter. It always results in drawing the attention of the world and the media. To trend a topic, thousands of people must hash it, i.e. tweet about it using the # before it. For example, the most trending topic over the next week is bound to be #xmas because everyone’s tweeting about Christmas. So what we want to do is push #GAZA to the top of twitter’s discussed topics on December 27. Get it?

Here’s what you can do:

Open a twitter account if you haven’t yet. Get your friends to give you a crash course on how to use it – it’s very simple.
On December 27, get online and tweet about #Gaza by citing news sources or re-tweeting links from others.
Join the Palestine Action Network group to get updates via Facebook.
Join the event: ACT – don’t mourn on Facebook.
Take online action aroung the Gaza Freedom March.
Recruit your friends and groups to do the same.
If you’re an experienced tweep, please join the core team to brainstorm more ideas on how to succeed with our online campaign. It’s not going to be easy because we’re in the middle of a holiday season, so we need all the help we can get. Hit me up via twitter on @nmoawad.

If you are on twitter and wish to join the campaign, you might want to check out Nadine's post on how a topic trend on twitter works. The plan is to trend #Gaza by tweeting about Gaza for 4 hours on sunday.

There will also be a march on the 31st of December in Gaza , where around 1300 people from several countries are expected to march with the people of Gaza to the Israeli border.

Our purpose in this March is lifting the siege on Gaza. We demand that Israel end the blockade. We also call upon Egypt to open Gaza’s Rafah border. Palestinians must have freedom to travel for study, work, and much-needed medical treatment and to receive visitors from abroad.

You can read more about it here or on the GFM website.

Two good reads

2009-12-23T12:46:00.004+03:00

The first post,'Smart muslim chicks who inexplicably scare off guys', is a bit old but it really cracked me up, so I thought I'd share it with you guys :)

Even though I hail from the other side of the Atlantic pond, I did empathise with the main character of the article, sister “Afaf”: in Western terms we are both far from being classed as “over-the-hill”, but in Desi (and perhaps other cultural) terms, we are perishable goods, close to hitting our respective expiry dates, and are in danger of being sold off at a 50% discount, in order to avoid being left on the shelf.

I thought the second article,'Women of Islam: Divinely fortified pillars of strength', was very inspiring. The writer talks about 4 great muslim women who underwent a lot of hardship but continued to remain strong and steadfast.

-The woman whose husband divorced her, then wanted her back:
-The woman who was left by her husband:
-The woman who gave birth alone, because she had no husband
-The woman who was slandered, and lost her husband’s affection for a month

Muslim Women : Visibility and Leadership

2009-10-14T10:51:00.005+03:00

I do not necessarily agree with everything these women have to say. An interesting video nevertheless.

What do you think??

Eid Mubarak!

2009-09-20T17:19:00.003+03:00

PLEASE READ! (regarding previous post)

2009-08-28T15:33:00.006+03:00

The hadith that I posted earlier is not apparently mentioned in any reliable book. A few people asked me if I knew the source and I could not find it anywhere either, so i decided to pose this question to brother Wajdi Akkari from one way to paradise.I will Inshallah include the source for any hadeeth that I post hereafter

This is what he had to say:

This hadeeth is not part of the Prophet’s Sunnah, and it is not something that is known to the scholars and muhaddithoon in their books and Musnads. It is not narrated except in a few books whose authors filled them with fabricated reports, false reports, stories and myths, such as Nuzhat al-Majaalis wa Muntakhab al-Nafaa’is, by the historian and man of letters ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Abd al-Salaam al-Safoori (d. 894 AH) – pp. 182-183, Chapter on the virtue of Ramadaan and encouragement to do good deeds therein. It also appears in the tafseer Rooh al-Bayaan (8/112) by Ismaa’eel Haqqi al-Hanafi al-Khalooti (d. 1127 AH). They mentioned a hadeeth similar to that referred to by the questioner, in which it says: “Moosa (peace be upon him) said: ‘O Lord, You have honoured me by speaking to me directly. Will You give anyone else something like this?’ And Allaah revealed: ‘O Moosa, I have slaves whom I will bring forth at the end of time, and I will honour them with the month of Ramadaan, and I will closer to one of them than to you, because you have spoken to Me when there are seventy thousand veils between Me and you, but when the ummah of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) fasts until their lips turn white and their faces turn yellow, I will lift the veil between Me and them at the time they break their fast. O Moosa, glad tidings to the one whose liver thirsts and whose stomach hungers in Ramadaan.”

Moreover, in the matn (text) of this hadeeth there is something which indicates that it is munkar (i.e., unsound), which is the words “I will be closer to one of them than you” – referring to Moosa (peace be upon him). It is well known in Muslim belief that the Messengers and Prophets are better than all other humans, and Moosa is one of the Messengers of strong will, so how can Allaah be closer to His slaves than to His Prophet Moosa (peace be upon him), of whom He said (interpretation of the meaning): “And We called him from the right side of the Mount, and made him draw near to Us for a talk with him” [Maryam 19:52]? And Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: He drew so close that he heard the scratching of the Pen – i.e., writing the Tawraat (Torah). See: Tafseer al-Qur’aan il-‘Azeem by al-Haafiz Ibn Katheer (5/237).

To sum up: The hadeeth mentioned is not in any of the reliable books, so it is not permissible to attribute it the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or to believe what it says.

And Allaah knows best.

Ramadan Kareem!

2009-08-22T04:17:00.007+03:00

May this holy month bring you peace and prosperity and may Allah strengthen your iman and answer all your duas ! :)

Tagged! 5 things about me

2009-08-18T19:15:00.007+03:00

So I've been tagged for the first time ,thanks to fatty over at mint.fresh.muslim :) !

1. I HATE wet ( bathroom ) floors. I do not understand why people have to get water all over the floor especially when taking wudhu!

2. I always wanted to become an aerospace engineer and join NASA, but my parents never liked the idea. I'm very happy studying law now though, alhamdullilah, but there are times when I wonder what it would've been like if I had studied aerospace engineering

3. I am an insomniac. I've been this way since I did my O Levels ( which seems like ages ago :S). I keep up the entire night and go for lectures in the morning, half awake. Don't ask me how I manage to stay alert.

4. People keep telling me that I'm short and tiny. I like to think I'm 'petite' :D . 5'1 isn't that short, is it??

5. I LOVE chocolates (cadbury flakes in particular) and ice tea!

I tag :

Jalpari , Firdous , Bengali and Angie Nader

Women, marriage and double standards

2009-06-07T16:06:00.004+03:00

Why are many educated, successful working muslim women not as successful when it comes to marriage?? Munira Lekovic Ezzeldine in her article 'How hard can it be' talks about how people expect a woman to be married by a particular age and how men want their wives to play a more 'traditional role'. Here are a few excerpts from her article and my views.

My husband and I recently tried to match-make a couple of our friends. Omar began telling his friend about a really nice woman we knew at 33, successful, beautiful. His first response was, "So, what's wrong with her? Why is she 33 and not married?" Looking at the 30-year-old man before me, my first thought was, "I could ask you the same thing." However, the reality set in that there's a double standard when it comes to the issue of age and marriage...Once a young woman passes the age of 25 and remains single, she is considered "old" and often finds it difficult to find a suitable spouse

I find these double standards appalling. Where I come from its not even 25 but 22/23 ! So you can see parents starting to scramble around looking for prospective grooms for their daughters no sooner they hit 20/21.I know parents who agree to let their daughters marry a man who’s much older because they think he would then be well-established in life and would be able to care of his family better. Whats even worse is the fact that that people around start asking your parents whether they've started looking and somehow manage to convince them that their daughter should be given in marriage as soon as possible.

In recent decades, men have also become highly educated and progressive, and have even fought for women's rights and the elevation of women in Islam. However, while these men are impressed with a successful and active woman, they do not consider her "marriage material." Despite the elevation of women, many men have maintained traditional ideas as to the type of wife they seek. After all, they do not see anything wrong with the way their mother was.

Why do these ‘progressive’ men even bother fighting for our Muslim women to be allowed to hold high posts ,to be allowed to wear the hijab at ,etc when they would never marry such a woman and wouldn’t let her work? Inferiority complex?

Many Muslim women seek not to compete with men, but rather to establish a partnership with their spouse. Ultimately, these women want to be cherished and loved in the same way that the Prophet loved Khadija.

I agree with her completely. We DO NOT want to compete with our husbands. We just want to be well educated in addition to being a good mum and wife. What is wrong with that?I am not doing a law degree so that I could file away my certificate once i get married .However, I do agree that a woman’s role is first in her home. Her duty is first towards her husband and children. I do not think a woman should be independent to the extent that she has a 9 to 5 job and ignores her home, being carried away by all that comes with being a working woman. Once she starts a family a woman could consider other avenues to keep what she has learnt live such as lecture part-time or even maybe work from home, but with regard to marriage, a woman should not be forced to marry by a particular age merely because no man would marry her once she passes the age of 25.

You can read the full article here

IF...

2009-05-29T08:13:00.003+03:00

A poem I used to love back in school.

IF
by Rudyard Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

How typical of Saudi officials

2009-05-25T16:32:00.007+03:00

So now Saudi has come up with a rule requiring Expatriates to register their fingerprints. Not that theres anything wrong with this law but what happens when these expatriates are not properly informed? chaos ensues!

Heres' what the Arab News had to say:

Fingerprinting confusion confounds expats

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Arab News - 25 May, 2009

Saudi Arabia is undergoing an identity crisis; not its own but that of millions of expatriate workers in the Kingdom.

Saudi law now requires that all expatriate iqama holders and their dependents register their fingerprints with the government. The crisis stems from a deadline — May 25 — that has been set for registration.

That much is clear. However what happens if expatriates fail to register? It is an area of such Byzantine confusion that at 7:15 a.m. a kilometer-long queue of expatriate workers had gathered outside the registration office located behind a tiny iron door in the wall of the Saudi Oger compound in north Jeddah yesterday.

“I got the story that while I had to register, there was no need for my wife to register as she is on my iqama,” said American Gene Fulton, a naval engineer. “The official then told me that my wife could register at the airport, which rather contradicted his own information.”

The information given to other expatriates varied considerably. It included: Wives had to register separately; they had to register in the same place; they had no need to register at all; children as young as nine had to register; children under 14 were excluded; failure to register would result in the nonrenewal of iqama, or the refusal by the Passport Department to issue exit/re-entry visas; registration could be done at the airport on re-entry; registration could not be done on re-entry.

“I spent a total of nine hours on three visits and still am not registered,” said Mike B.

His attempt was at the offices located near Dallah Tower on Jeddah’s Palestine Street. He eventually succeeded when a government relations specialist bullied his way to the head of the queue and used some “wasta” (influence) on the officials. That solution seemed relatively common. Several respondents said that they asked favors from people they knew in order to speed up the process.

Confusion is compounded by a lack of communication on the authorities’ part and the failure of many companies to pass on the information — albeit confused — to their work force.

A British project manager, John T., said that he had found out by accident during a coffee break. “I registered with my wife as a result six months ago, but as yet we have not been told officially by the firm,” he said. At that time, the registration offices were empty and officials were prepared but visitors were few.

According to at least one large school’s experience in Jeddah, it is possible to make a booking for a group visit and registration of expatriate staff in one visit. It seems, however, that few organizations have availed themselves of the opportunity.

Thus the confusion continues, the queues stifling in the humid summer heat grow agitated and millions of man-hours will be lost in unproductive waiting for registration or refusal or conflicting information, turning what should be a perfectly routine piece of bureaucracy into a nightmare and possibly a crisis as well

Why they cannot learn to be more organized , I do not understand.I wonder what would happen to those of us that aren't in the kingdom. Iqama won't be renewed?

A must-read if you've lived in KSA

2009-05-24T17:58:00.010+03:00

This is from the facebook group: ' You know You've Lived in Saudi Arabia When..'

Anyone who has lived in Saudi would be able to relate to all of these im sure :)

Soo true!

You think SR500 is a good price
You enjoy channel 2
Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the housekeeper
You think black is appropriate daytime wear
You wear a jacket inside and take it off when you go out
You know which end of a swarma to unwrap
You think that the further you inch into an intersection the faster the light will turn green
You give directions by landmarks
You have more carpets than floor space
You expect gold for every birthday
You send your friends a map instead of your address
You begin admiring other women's "Designer" abayas
You expect to pay more for water than for petrol
You've heard of or tried "hubbly bubbly."
You get confused because US money isn't color-coded.
You remember not eating in public in the daytime during the holy month of Ramadan.
You know someone is referring to Pepsi when they say "BEBSI".
You have ever had to wait for prayer call to be over to finish shopping.
You have friends from 50 different countries.
Rain is still one of the most wonderful sounds in the world.
You have sat in a "men's" or "women's" section in an airport, hospital, or restaurant.
You think anyone with a cane is out to get you.
You think a desert storm is a war.
You think a red light means "step on it."
You don't think it is ostentatious to own more than one Rolex.
Your school closes early because of sandstorms
You are not surprised to see an 8 year old driving the car next to you
You can't buy anything without asking for a discount
You think cars only come in white

On convincing myself to wear the abaya..

2009-05-21T09:46:00.001+03:00

Over the years I have been asked by quite a few people, why i dont wear the abaya, and my response has always been that I would Inshallah wear it 'some day'. Many of these people have made numerous attempts to try and convince me to wear it, but I have had a very hard time trying to make up my mind. I believe that the decision should come from within you and you should not just do it because someone tells u to do it.

Yes I am aware that the way I dress , although seen to be modest by many , ( long-sleeved, knee-length tops and loose trousers, and the hijab) is not exactly how islam requires a woman to dress, as the Quran clearly states that an 'outer garment' must be worn :

" O Prophet! Tell thy wives & daughters & the believeing women that they should cast their outer garment over their persons ( when abroad) that is most convenient that they should be known ( as such) and not molested & God is Oft-Forgiving , Most Merciful " (33:59)

" And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss" (24:31)

There are times when i get this overwhelming urge to just go out there n do it, but i also do know that once you decide, there is no going back.One of my primary fears is that I would regret my decision once I start wearing it. I have seen plenty of women stop wearing it after marriage or just stop for some reason or another. It is not fair to judge these women, because we all go through phases where our iman tends to decrease , but I think it's just wrong to regret, even for a moment, that you could show off what you are wearing under the abaya.

I guess its much easier a decision to make if you live in a Muslim country or it quite a few people in your circle also wear it. Having lived in Saudi Arabia for more than half my life, wearing an abaya felt so normal, but that was probably because everyone wore it. In a country where only a handful wear the abaya, and 'female only' gatherings are VERY rare, the thought of never being able to 'dress up' can keep getting in the way of your decision.

Trivial matters I'm sure these are, that can easily be overcome with the help of prayers and strong iman.

I was listening to a lecture by a South African sheikh, Sulaiman Mulla, a weeks back . He was talking about the modesty of Fatima (RA), the youngest daughter of the Prophet (SAW), and an incident he related had quite an impact on me .When Fatima (RA)knew that death was approaching, she went to Asma bint Umais and expressed her concerns that at certain funerals of women, the body was not concealed adequately and that she did not want this to be the case with her body (i.e she wanted her body to be concealed totally) Subhanallah! She was so worried and particular about her modesty even at death, when no man would see her after she was buried!

Regarding the niqab however, I do know that there are differing views about this issue and am among those who think its not wajib to fear the face veil (as of now at least) .

Kudos to all the sisters out there who wear the abaya, and to the ones who wear the niqab , I have no words!!

May Allah guide us all and increase our iman

Great lecture

2009-05-09T19:20:00.003+03:00

A very good lecture by brother Kamal el Mekki about the muslim womans role in strengthening the ummah.

Books worth reading !

2009-05-09T17:57:00.002+03:00

Here are a few books that I have read and I think every muslim sister out there should read . It's important that we gain a firm understanding of what Islam expects of us firstly as a woman and then as a daughter, wife and mother, and how to set a good example to our non-muslim counterparts.

I would strongly suggest these two books.

'I appeal to your sense of shame...why not respond?' by Nawaal bint Abdullah , and

'The Ideal Muslimah' by Dr Al-Hashimi

http://www.kalamullah.com/sister.html

Im sure the other books are really good as well but I haven't had the time to read them yet!

Hope they will be of use!! :)